You dont have to Period

Dec 5 (Fri)

Xmas is coming. The weather is getting cold, but probably one day there will be no winter season in Taiwan.

I am never knocked down by job hunting. The reason I am writing something today cuz of C. A did nothing. 

What is wrong with these people? I have said NO many times. It has nothing to do with my plan tomorrow. If one NO means a lot to him, and he perceives it as rejection. Then I have nothing to say. At least, B tried many times for me, and i felt emotionally safe around him and then bent over.

I am sick of those people who want marriage without a person and plan to have kids when they are not even in a marriage. What is the point of planning this when you don't have a partner at all? 

A is a decent person with a well-paid job. But i dont think he has fully healed his trauma. Of course, neither do I. Basically, we two don't have sparks. I appreciate the connection but i dont see a future with A. I prefer to focus on my life. 

We all gotta learn something and practice. I have become more strict in the dating world. I guess maybe i am too alert to those red flags. It turns me off immediately. I am not that into him/ him/ him. Shxt. Ex becomes one type of standard. 

Whatever, i think i am just whinnig here. 

The other thing- i kinda like or hate the prediction from palm readings. I have seen the life of immigrants, and why do i choose a life like that? I dont want my children living in that kind of environment even though it makes them stronger. I dont even want to give birth, which creates a karma cycle. I rank as the youngest child in my family- rebellious, adventurous, eloquent. If you want me to do sth, better no force me to do it. Else, i will not do it. 

I just cannot believe that I have been friends with C for years and it ignore my willingness. Whatever my plan is tomorrow (even i do nothing), i do not have to justify myself. Only yes is yes. 

That is why our world is so different. I snick sth- so i do not think Godmother is a good way.