Psychology Term:

 Oct 24 (Fri)

: You probably do not need to figure out if you are "over him" to make this decision. You need to figure out if continuing this work serves YOU, practically and emotionally, right now. 

: The weight you have been carrying is not from the hustle, or him, or even your job-hopping pattern. It is from the constant self-judgment and blame. 

: You have been exhausting yourself trying to be "normal" instead of accepting your own rhythm. 

What kind of work exists that celebrates rather than punishes my need for variety?

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Self-stigma: when I adopt society's negative view of a trait and turn it against myself.

"Your trait is not a problem. The self-blame is the problem."

"You are not broken- you might just be ahead of the curve, or wired differently."

: What would it feel like to accept that you are someone who needs variety in work, and that is just...okay? Not something to fix or fight, but something to work with?

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It's not that travel or hobbies became boring; it's that your brain's reward system has dimmed.

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Some practical strategies to break the cycle:

1. Reframe your trait from weakness to strength. 

I am adaptable and can learn new skills quickly. I thrive on variety and fresh challenges. I am not afraid to leave situations that do not serve me.

2. Design my life around my trait, not against it. 

Seek out work that is explicitly short-term (contracts, projects, seasonal). Build multiple small income streams instead of one big one. Frame yourself as a "generalist" or "multi-skilled professional." Consider freelancing or consulting where change is expected.

3. Set expectations with others (and yourself) 

When you take on work, you could internally frame it as:" I will give this my full effort for as long as it serves both of us, probably 1-2 years." This is not failing- it is being realistic. You dont have to announce this to employers, but knowing it yourself reduces guilt. 

4. Separate financial pragmatism from identity

Recognize: " I am staying for practical reasons" is different from "I am a bad person for wanting to leave."

5. Challenge the self-blame directly 

When I catch myself thinking "I can't help but blame myself": 

Please PAUSE and ask, " Would I judge a friend this harshly for the same thing?" 

REMIND yourself, " My brain works differently, and that is not inherently wrong."

CONSIDER "Is staying in work I've outgrown actually serving anyone?"

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I am so tuned with TTPD this album. Ironically, it resonates with my mental state.