Everything comes to you have a reason.

 Jul 23, 2025 (Wed)

There is a reason we met the person. Everything that happens in our life has its own meaning.

I was mind-tangled last night after talking with Claude. (Claude's words are more practical and rational, not as warm as ChatGPT. ) Then i fell asleep on the couch again. It is a heavy mental work to figure out others' minds, which is impossible for sure.

This is the time in my late 20s when the tariff goes insane and AI blooms. My country's market will be impacted significantly. I have heard of many people being laid off over the past few months, including myself hehe. Though it is more related to personal matters, not really work skills. 

I had expected this, but still feel hurt when it unfolds in front of me. It happened out of the blue for me due to the absence of closure. Deep down in my heart, I want an official closure instead of a bunch of money to compensate for this. Work bestie has not worked there anymore. There is no reason to go back even though my interest in that job still exists. 

Appreciate J's call- an outlier perspective as a former manager relieves me. I guess that is a closure for me. I have known the answer, but maybe I just want someone to spill it out to prove that it is not my delusion or hyper-optimism. 

-

I admire J&B's mindset- they work so hard for a better life. It does not mean you gotta to work for long hours, but find a smart way to earn your money. That is the character i do not have currently. 

There are some moments I feel upset or disappointed:

He lied about his hourly rate. I dont even understand why he lied about this. That is the least thing I care about if he is rich or not. Ridiculous and funny. I dont bother to come to him and question this when i dont have standing, and it is unnecessary. 

He does not like that I do not lie to people. In contrast, I hate him lying about tiny stuff.  

He delayed our meetup because he was going to meet that girl, who is helpful for the biz. 

Throwing back, there are a couple of red flags but i did not catch or stop right from there.  

I feel the trust is gone, and my protective arm rises up again. 

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Okie. Here are some new chapters i am working on :)

I got my visa- i asked about Deb. Is there anything she wants to do in this life? I almost forgot to do mine when i had the privilege of time/ resources currently. 

I have not been on a solo trip abroad with a purpose for a long time. Please stay calm. Be safe and take care of yourself. 

I am excited to realize the thing i have said for two years. Just cannot believe it is time to fulfill that. I do not expect that soon. 

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