self-introspection

Oct 31, 2024 (Thur)

 Hey there.

"I feel attracted to him but I am not going to act on it."

"You can love more than one person, You don't necessarily need to sleep with all of them and screw it all up. Love is so much more than that."

"Matured persons always fall for another matured one."





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愛的具象化

Mar 1, 2025 (Sat) Met someone totally different from me. At first, I did not have feelings for him even a little bit uncomfortable when being around him. I put him in a friend zone or just closer than a colleague. I appreciate him showing me around but I don't want to keep his kindness or nice gestures. So I kinda force him not to do so if he only treats me as a friend or a colleague.  A vague relationship is the thing I am trying to avoid after KJ.  He confessed his feelings but did not label us. Tried to argue with him; tried to let myself step out of the relationship; tried to convince myself it was fine. I know I am suppressing my needs, prioritizing his than mine. That was when I realized I liked him more than I thought. Meanwhile, I understand it is not healthy either cuz I might leave one day when my needs have not been satisfied.  Hoping that is not the lesson I teach him or he teaches me. He is a responsible person and takes words very seriously. He is not c...
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Weighing

Mar 10, 2025 (Mon) Probably not discussing this on weekdays. It ruins his mood or mine. He cannot focus on work.  He always said the relationship is for two people. If there is anything wrong, we two should discuss it first instead of talking with others. At first, it is a mature gesture for me. Then it becomes a knot. I found no one to talk to. Gradually, our personality difference starts surfacing. __________________________________________________________________ His words or sentences make me sober. : I love you with boundaries maturity and growth. This is the person I want to be with.  : That is not the real me. What you are saying is you want a perfect girl. Sorry, it is not the whole me.  : You need to love yourself first. : I love myself and then I will not stay here. As I have said before, I never want an LDR. __________________________________________________________________ I still like him. Gotta force myself not to check his messages on and off.  Archive...
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