Introspection- Why Cannot We Regret After Making the Decision?

 May 2, 2024

This expat decision was made by me. What else to complain?

I am getting used to the toxic environment, the uncertainty, and the loneliness... It is not like Taipei, my hometown. Friends and family are not here; therefore, I have plenty of time. Whereas it seems I am wasting it, dumping the valuable time. 

Had a two-day trip to Hanoi. When other colleagues ask how was the holiday? I cannot really say I was enjoying it. Apparently, what I did in Hanoi was not a trip but to rebuild my lifestyle in Taipei. The delight comes to me when I attended yoga class, go to gym, and have healthy diet. This is basically my dream life. 

Threw back to the time in Taipei- I was so unsatisfied with my 9 to 5 job, sitting plainly on the chair. I did not appreciate the golden ticket, which is a dream job for most people. Everything could be expected and nothing new. The plain and still path drains me. That is why I would like to have an expat life in this lifetime. 


Perhaps the motivation sounds weak to some. I indeed made the best choice at each stage. What did I keep bothering myself again? Alas, complex human brain. I just need to think again and again; and remind myself repeatedly. Dig the real WHY down to my heart. 

- an experience in India (half-check) 1 year

- new work function (check)

- working in the international environment (un-checked)

- my own living space (check)

- payoff (check)


How about we getting start from why I am still here?

- Money & Family

- PM Experience

- The last straw has not arrived yet.

The exotic environment excites me, but the feeling of excitement does not last long. It will erode one day. Every penny I earn should be spent on my family, my country, rather than Viet. 

On the other hand, I don't feel quite safe here. Maintaining the professional relationship matters. I don't want to get into any trouble or any karma. 

Sometimes, I genuinely confused what I want. What am I chasing? Our desire is infinite and always ambitious about another point another path. 

You are still young, they said. It sounds like youthful is my only capital. It does not count that who I am, what kind of person you are. I see a lot of resentment, unfairness, negative thoughts here. Any approach to stay here without being swallowed?


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