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Everything comes to you have a reason.

 Jul 23, 2025 (Wed) There is a reason we met the person. Everything that happens in our life has its own meaning. I was mind-tangled last night after talking with Claude. (Claude's words are more practical and rational, not as warm as ChatGPT. ) Then i fell asleep on the couch again. It is a heavy mental work to figure out others' minds, which is impossible for sure. This is the time in my late 20s when the tariff goes insane and AI blooms. My country's market will be impacted significantly. I have heard of many people being laid off over the past few months, including myself hehe. Though it is more related to personal matters, not really work skills.  I had expected this, but still feel hurt when it unfolds in front of me. It happened out of the blue for me due to the absence of closure. Deep down in my heart, I want an official closure instead of a bunch of money to compensate for this. Work bestie has not worked there anymore. There is no reason to go back even though my...
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Last Letter About Us

Mar 31, 2025 (Mon) We met each other at the beginning of Jan.  He confessed his feelings on Jan 13, the date we both agreed upon.  He said that he wanted a little solitude on Mar 30, when I tried the last time.  Some red flags I saw but to let them sit aside.  - He said that we could certainly come back to Palm Springs but we never did. He always chooses his friend over me. Woke me up to answer his best friend's question. It is disrespectful to wake up someone if they fall asleep.   - He could not define what we are at the very beginning. I should set my boundaries or even have more courage to choose FWB. Ironic and ridiculous.  He wants emotional connection, sex, and accompany, but doesn't want to bear any responsibility. What's more, we do not share a common future. I try to share my future vision and invite him to join. Present all my cards on the table. It seems to make him feel pressured or more avoidant.  We are basically fooling around. It ...
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Weighing

Mar 10, 2025 (Mon) Probably not discussing this on weekdays. It ruins his mood or mine. He cannot focus on work.  He always said the relationship is for two people. If there is anything wrong, we two should discuss it first instead of talking with others. At first, it is a mature gesture for me. Then it becomes a knot. I found no one to talk to. Gradually, our personality difference starts surfacing. __________________________________________________________________ His words or sentences make me sober. : I love you with boundaries maturity and growth. This is the person I want to be with.  : That is not the real me. What you are saying is you want a perfect girl. Sorry, it is not the whole me.  : You need to love yourself first. : I love myself and then I will not stay here. As I have said before, I never want an LDR. __________________________________________________________________ I still like him. Gotta force myself not to check his messages on and off.  Archive...
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愛的具象化

Mar 1, 2025 (Sat) Met someone totally different from me. At first, I did not have feelings for him even a little bit uncomfortable when being around him. I put him in a friend zone or just closer than a colleague. I appreciate him showing me around but I don't want to keep his kindness or nice gestures. So I kinda force him not to do so if he only treats me as a friend or a colleague.  A vague relationship is the thing I am trying to avoid after KJ.  He confessed his feelings but did not label us. Tried to argue with him; tried to let myself step out of the relationship; tried to convince myself it was fine. I know I am suppressing my needs, prioritizing his than mine. That was when I realized I liked him more than I thought. Meanwhile, I understand it is not healthy either cuz I might leave one day when my needs have not been satisfied.  Hoping that is not the lesson I teach him or he teaches me. He is a responsible person and takes words very seriously. He is not c...
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self-introspection

Oct 31, 2024 (Thur)  Hey there. "I feel attracted to him but I am not going to act on it." "You can love more than one person, You don't necessarily need to sleep with all of them and screw it all up. Love is so much more than that." "Matured persons always fall for another matured one."
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Introspection- Why Cannot We Regret After Making the Decision?

 May 2, 2024 This expat decision was made by me. What else to complain? I am getting used to the toxic environment, the uncertainty, and the loneliness... It is not like Taipei, my hometown. Friends and family are not here; therefore, I have plenty of time. Whereas it seems I am wasting it, dumping the valuable time.  Had a two-day trip to Hanoi. When other colleagues ask how was the holiday? I cannot  really  say I was enjoying it.  Apparently,  what I did in Hanoi was not a trip but to rebuild my lifestyle in Taipei. The delight comes to me when I attended yoga class, go to gym, and have healthy diet. This is  basically  my dream life.  Threw back to the time in Taipei- I was so unsatisfied with my 9 to 5 job, sitting plainly on the chair. I did not appreciate the golden ticket, which is a dream job for most people. Everything could be expected and nothing new. The plain and still path drains me. That is why I would like to have an expat li...
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Book Notes of The Alchemist

 Feb 26, 2024 The sentences hit me soooo much from the enchanted, timeless novel The Alchemist .  But in his heart, he knew that it did matter.  😭 They come in search of new things but when they leave they are basically the same people they were when they arrived. When someone sees the same people every day, they wind up becoming a part of that person's life. It describes people's inability to choose their own Personal Legends. And it ends up saying that everyone believes the world's greatest lie. It's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what is happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate.  😭😭😭 Let's say that the most important is that you have succeeded in discovering your Personal Legend.  Personal Legend: It is what you have already wanted to accomplish. To realize one's destiny is a person's only obligation. If you start out by promising what you don't have yet, you will lose your desire to work toward ge...
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